Why Ask Naked?
In a discussion with my husband whereby he was reminding me that the “tone” of my voice (the one that involuntarily comes out when I am frustrated, angry and resentful) was not conducive to eliciting the “prince charming helper” response that I was looking for from him, I asked him:
“How do I get you to hear me? In my mind I have asked for this help [fill in the blank here- empty the garbage, help the kids, don’t put your shoes on the bed,] a million times without emotion, but the truth is – you don’t hear me until I am what you would consider a hysterical Biatch! How do I ask you so that you hear me the first time?”
Without skipping a beat he said, “Ask Naked.” The fact that he did not hesitate and the fact that he was mostly not kidding captured a lot. Ask Naked? Perfect.
Let me get this out of the way right from the get go: My husband is awesome. I love him. We have a great relationship and I am almost afraid to print it because I don’t want to jinx it, but now 18 years into our marriage I am feeling the courage to be a little brazen in proclaiming what we have to the world. It’s the real deal. That being said, I will also acknowledge that there are times we drive each other up the wall. UP…THE…WALL. The tensions and rewards in a committed relationship are fascinating to me. I can mull about relationship issues for hours. In fact, I have.
It was during one of these “mulling sessions” that the concept for this blog was born. A girlfriend and I spent many hours talking to each other and others about our husbands and we came to believe that many issues in committed relationships are largely universal. As this realization unfolded and we started learning hilarious anecdotal solutions to challenges from friends in other relationships, we thought someone needs to write a book with all these ideas. We talked about it for years. Then it occurred to us that better than a book with a few ideas – a blog that could solicit insights from relationships from everywhere and anywhere could be an amazing and entertaining resource!
Our hope is that Ask Naked is a place for real people in real relationships to voice insights and life experiences regarding a dynamic that is ever elusive, frustrating, exhilarating, and mysterious: The romantic relationship.
We are (and aren’t you?) less interested in the “expert analysis” and MUCH more interested in what everyone is REALLY doing! The information we want to gather is from real people, in the real world, soaring, muddling and crashing through relationships. What do REAL couples do about housework? money? sex? gift giving? in-laws? valentine’s day? children? remote controls? anniversaries? religion? What really works? What really doesn’t?
Sometimes there is no better way to diffuse frustration than to recognize that it is a universal and inevitable dynamic – not to be taken personally. Sometimes, there are simple solutions to seemingly impossible impasses (wait until you hear the creative solutions from some of our sources on the topic of housework – like the “3 Strike” rule!). Our goal is to create a community where we can share our real and possibly unconventional solutions with hopes that we can find gems that will help us all navigate the relationship road.
What does it take to be in a happy relationship?